By Mallory Dimler, PhD
The topic of body image in pregnancy, postpartum, and motherhood is one I’m particularly passionate about. As a women and gender studies minor in college, I was always drawn to understanding women’s experiences in the context of a culture that perpetuates unrealistic (and unhelpful) messages towards women, especially messages about our bodies.
During pregnancy for example, women are inundated inundated with messages that the *perfect* pregnant woman does not gain too much weight and is in *control* of what she eats during pregnancy. These messages are spread both directly and indirectly. I’m sure you or someone you know has had a stranger comment on your body/weight or what you were eating when you were pregnant. It is common for women to struggle with body image during pregnancy, and given all of the attention people direct towards pregnant bodies, it is understandable why.
Then comes the baby and the body changes that accompany it. Our hips widen, bellies get softer, arms and legs thicker, the list goes on. Then the message comes—“Get your pre-baby body back!” And this message is delivered to us in a way that makes us again feel like we’ve failed somehow if we can’t shrink our bodies. When you step back and are able to see that these are messages from our thin or “toned” obsessed diet culture, we can see the facts—our bodies are meant to be diverse sizes and are also expected to change throughout the course of the lifetime, especially after having babies. We are taught to distrust our own bodies; in reality, our bodies are wise and know exactly what they need.
On top of recovery and adjustment to parenthood, women may also be struggling with feelings of anxiety, guilt, anger, and/or grief in relation to their post-partum bodies. And if women are struggling with depression, anxiety or other types of psychological pain, the body can become an easy target to turn towards. These struggles deserve attention and normalization—it makes sense!
ACT for Body Image
So how do I approach this body image work with clients? In sum, I approach this work with a mindfulness and acceptance-based approach (called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT). First thing I like to tell new moms is that they are not crazy and are not alone in struggling with body image. Most of the messages moms carry around about their bodies have existed way before having a baby. This means that the self-judgments and self-criticisms we experience about our bodies during pregnancy and postpartum occur automatically. It takes zero effort for them to show up. However, we do not need to let these unhelpful thoughts dictate what we do or how we feel about ourselves.
ACT can help women feel more empowered in their bodies by helping them to recognize ways they value taking care of themselves and put this into action. It is an approach that is proactive and compassion-focused.
Doing this work is values-based for me. Bringing it back to how I started, I am passionate about helping women to feel seen, understood, and uplifted. I’ve witnessed first-hand so many examples of women who were further beaten down and disempowered by negative thoughts and feelings about their bodies, which stemmed from the internalized messages they received about what women’s bodies *should* look like and how a *perfect* pregnant woman or mother should look. It is incredibly rewarding to help women to step outside of these messages, connect with their authentic selves and put their needs, wants, and values first.
Mallory Dimler, PhD 